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What is the worst that can happen?

Helena Chan Helena Chan

What is the worst that can happen?

Moral of the story, when you are feeling anxious or stressed, ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then assess, can you handle that situation and is it as untenable or scary as you think? If not, put things into perspective and know that whatever situation, trust yourself and that you’ve got this. Now, use that in our daily situations as how we do the daily and small stuff, is a reflection of, and helps us handle the bigger stuff.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Know that…

Know that I love you unconditionally. If I know what that means. Know that I love you to the best of my ability and that my heart opens up to you and holds a place there for you. Know that I love you no matter what. You can do no wrong in my eyes and you are perfect as you are. I may tell you when I disagree with you, but I will never judge you or forsake you. Know that I want to be, and am wholly here for you. That words cannot express the love I hold for you, with you and receive from you. I feel this love for you because you love me in return and it’s a connection that is cherished above all else. Love, connection, truth, cannot ever be destroyed. No matter what. Know that I love you, and am here with you. I stand by your side, always.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Emotional wealth

We often think of wealth in material terms such as money or possessions. There is also wealth in terms of time. The freedom to do what you want, when you want.

I recently came to a realization that there is another form of wealth that can be labeled as emotional or energetic.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Actions speak louder than Words

We tell ourselves our priorities are X, Y and Z. But if one were to look at your calendar and how you spent your time this past week, month and year, would it reflect that?

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Mental masturbation

Have you heard of the phrase mental masturbation? There are a few different definitions and contexts in which this is used, but this is the one I am referring to: engaging in intellectually stimulating activities but with little or no practical purpose. I realized I do that with self help books and podcasts. I will at times, listen to, or read a self-help book, but not implement the learnings.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

The warrior’s way

In climbing, part of the Warrior’s Way is to ask oneself, is this part of the climb making me uncomfortable or scared? If the answer is yes, this is where you start practicing falling. You choose to keep falling in that area until it becomes not scary, familiar, and you know what to expect. It’s brilliant.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Stay the course

Have the discipline to not give up on yourself. Stay the course.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

We have a plan for life, and Life has a Plan for us

Fate is something that will happen and Destiny is one of the five options we choose from, on how to get there. We plan for certain routes and find that the ones we took are not quite what we had intended, no matter how strong the resolution or will. The most frustrations we experience are when we are using all of our Will to try and make something happen; something we Want, rather than allowing whatever it is to take place that we Need.

The next time you find yourself making some very resolute life plans, remember, you can plan as much as you want and attempt to execute with all the might you have. And it may come out exactly as you had envisioned. But keep an open heart and mind that it may go in a very different direction as Life may have a different vision for you.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Everything can change in one instant

Everything can change in one instant

I know this intellectually but often, as I think we all do, I need to re-experience something to remember the lesson.

Everything can change in one instant. You get that call and are told you won the lottery; you got your dream job; landed that big client or account; your loved one has cancer; you just got hit by a car or given news that you will never walk again. It can be both good or bad news, but things can change at the turn of a dime.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Laundry basket

It is rare for us to just sit, and be satisfied in the moment. In the chaos of it all. To just revel in life. To go, wow this is perfect as it is. I am always looking at my laundry basket and thinking, when it’s empty, all the clothes are washed, dried and nicely put away, I’ll feel better. Even if it’s for just one day. Then I realized, this is a micro analogy for what we do in life generally speaking.

So now, whenever I see my laundry basket and the one, or many items of clothing that need to be washed, despite me just having done a load, I smile and remember to be grateful for the messiness and ongoing-ness of life. There is no pause, there is no one moment where everything is perfect. Because as corny as it sounds, every moment is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

The resilience to reinvent oneself over and over again

In our lives, we are constantly reinventing ourselves.

We grow, we die many times, and we evolve.

It takes resilience to be able to transform, again and again. To rediscover our old selves in new environments and to evolve so that we are the same, yet different. Better, wiser, humbler, and able to be more stoic about life’s ups and downs.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Eggscellent

I am pleased to say the egg freezing process went smoothly and the procedure was successful. The two weeks of daily hormone injections, blood tests and scans were intense. But I was more equipped in knowing what to expect, and knew exactly what I was getting myself into, having done it once already. It was less daunting and I understood that in doing this second round, I have done my personal best in keeping my options open so I won’t have regrets, at least on this front. I now have the bloating and weight loss to “deal with” but I feel grateful that I am healthy. I did not end up with hyper-stimulation (so far) and I can move on with my life and put this section to bed. I can earn the money back in the future, but I can’t capture the quality of my eggs down the road. I am proud to have done this, again. And alone. I did not feel sad or lonely. But I did it by myself. (With the support of the ARGC, whose staff members are wonderful.) It felt empowering and reminded me that I am strong and capable. That I am surrounded by love and people whom I can count on, but ultimately, I can count on myself. If you are considering this but not sure, reach out and I would be happy to have a conversation with you. It’s not for everyone, but don’t wait too long to think about it. Time really does fly by and it’s not a must, but I do urge you to seriously consider this. Not enough people talk about how as women, we are taught we can conquer the world, but there are some limitations of biology that we need to factor in.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Marriage of Friends

My life is filled with the souls of women I love. The ones who make my belly ache from laughter, who catch my tears. Who show up on my doorstep to celebrate and grieve, who defend me when I’m unkind to myself. These women will love my children, dance as we age, protect my secrets, share in my joy, sing even when we’re sinking in sorrow. They walk close, promising their lives to me—a marriage without a wedding; a commitment without a ring. If you have these women too, remember: the soulmate is a wonderful thought but look how beautiful these love stories are. Look how they make you full.

By Hannah Rosenberg

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

If not Now, when?

We will never be fully ready for whatever it is we are preparing for. Whether it’s the “right time” to have kids, write that book, quit that job, sign up for that stand-up gig, leave that unhealthy relationship—familial, romantic or platonic. We always find a reason to put it off, even if just a day. But we just need to do it: Right. Now.

So what triggered this thought?

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

All paths lead to Rome

All paths lead to the same destination. Are you happy in how you are walking along this trail? Is your journey one filled with being present, living with joy, love, pride and light? Are you proud of the route you are picking? Are you willing to face the consequences of your actions? Are you willing to do the hard things?

Can you say that in this hike of life, you are facing your fears, sweating through but making it up that steep hill and taking a deep breath of beautiful air when you get to the top of that hill? Are you taking a moment to pat yourself on the back and enjoy the view? Then taking the next steps to continue on this hike and ready for the next set of muddy areas that your feet may get stuck in? Are you living your life authentically and to the fullest? We don’t need to know the answer, only you do in your heart. And to remember that all paths lead to the same One Path in the end.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Be comfortable being uncomfortable

We grow the most when we “fail”, press past our comfort zones or have no other choice. Usually, the scariest thing in our heads are the ones that will lead to the greatest evolution. When we face our fear and go into the discomfort, we find that it was not as scary as we thought it might be. And the relief, and result tend to be very rewarding.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Who are you becoming?

Who are you? And who are you becoming? Knowing your identity, currently, and who you want to become (or continue to be), is a simple yet deep question that drives the choices we make each day, and who we become in the long run. […] Each action we take is a vote on who we want to become. Who we are today, is slowly changing or being reinforced by each micro decision we take.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Poem: The Invitation

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

Planting seeds

Similar to micro progress, doing things one step at a time, sometimes in life we just need to plant many seeds. Some will bear fruit and grow into beautiful flowers or trees. Others may not lead to anything. But planting seeds is important to creating the future we wish for, and envision.

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Helena Chan Helena Chan

New year’s resolution: don’t make any

This is likely not the first time you have heard this concept, but this new year’s why not scrap the list of resolutions? Instead, why not commit to a small set of habits you would like to form or keep starting now?

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