It is so important to stay true to oneself, even if there are many societal shoulds. I write this post as a gentle nudge, if you feel something in your gut, listen to it. Ask yourself some hard questions and ask if you deserve the truth. Even if it’s dark, painful or uncomfortable. Are you able to ready to bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul?

Moral of the story, when you are feeling anxious or stressed, ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then assess, can you handle that situation and is it as untenable or scary as you think? If not, put things into perspective and know that whatever situation, trust yourself and that you’ve got this. Now, use that in our daily situations as how we do the daily and small stuff, is a reflection of, and helps us handle the bigger stuff.

In climbing, part of the Warrior’s Way is to ask oneself, is this part of the climb making me uncomfortable or scared? If the answer is yes, this is where you start practicing falling. You choose to keep falling in that area until it becomes not scary, familiar, and you know what to expect. It’s brilliant.

Have the discipline to not give up on yourself. Stay the course.

Fate is something that will happen and Destiny is one of the five options we choose from, on how to get there. We plan for certain routes and find that the ones we took are not quite what we had intended, no matter how strong the resolution or will. The most frustrations we experience are when we are using all of our Will to try and make something happen; something we Want, rather than allowing whatever it is to take place that we Need.

The next time you find yourself making some very resolute life plans, remember, you can plan as much as you want and attempt to execute with all the might you have. And it may come out exactly as you had envisioned. But keep an open heart and mind that it may go in a very different direction as Life may have a different vision for you.

We grow the most when we “fail”, press past our comfort zones or have no other choice. Usually, the scariest thing in our heads are the ones that will lead to the greatest evolution. When we face our fear and go into the discomfort, we find that it was not as scary as we thought it might be. And the relief, and result tend to be very rewarding.

Who are you? And who are you becoming? Knowing your identity, currently, and who you want to become (or continue to be), is a simple yet deep question that drives the choices we make each day, and who we become in the long run. […] Each action we take is a vote on who we want to become. Who we are today, is slowly changing or being reinforced by each micro decision we take.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I was married to a covert narcissist and did not really realise the extent (or the impact) of the emotional manipulation until I had walked away from the relationship and had a bit of distance, (and luck) to put two and two together. I had moments of doubt/questions, months and perhaps even years in advance, but I chose to ignore the feelings, rationalise them away and convince myself that I was in love.