Who are you becoming?
Who are you? And who are you becoming? Knowing your identity, currently, and who you want to become (or continue to be), is a simple yet deep question that drives the choices we make each day, and who we become in the long run.
James Clear of Atomic Habits talks about building habits based on identity, versus goals to be achieved. For instance, he writes:
· The goal is not to get straight A’s, the goal is to become a person who studies every day.
· The goal is not to finish a painting, the goal is to become an artist.
· The goal is not to win the game or competition, the goal is to become a person who practices every day.
In a Tim Ferris podcast where he interviews ultra marathoner Rich Roll, he asks: If you could put one thing on bill board; a picture, quote etc. what would it be? Rich answers: Who are you becoming? He contextualises it by saying he originally was going to say: Who are you? But decided to add the word becoming.
That is because we are all constantly evolving and changing. Each action we take is a vote on who we want to become. Who we are today, is slowly changing or being reinforced by each micro decision we take.
By choosing to have that bag of chips (or crisps as they say here in England), I am choosing to be a little less healthy. By choosing to go to climbing, I am voting with my actions to become more athletic and improve my climbing skills. I see myself as a climber and going two to three times a week helps build and solidify that identity. By choosing to walk Chloe at 6:30am in minus three Celsius weather, I am choosing to be responsible. Prioritizing our time together and ensuring that we both get our 10,000 steps in each day. It allows me to build that pride I have in being a good fur baby mom, another identity I hold. Conversely, by choosing not to do something, I am also voting for a certain identity. Each action I take moves the needle closer or farther away from a character I wish to form or solidify. And each micro action compounds, so that it’s not just a marginal gain or loss. Over time, each small choice really adds up to astonishing results. Similar to the idea of compounding interest and saving at a young age. A good book that covers habits and their compounding effects is called The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.
My current self identity includes being someone who lives authentically, tells, and looks to always see, the truth, no matter how uncomfortable. This means when I catch me lying to myself, I call it out. I look for it. I don’t want to be in a situation where I am in an unhealthy environment or relationship and not even know it. It doesn’t guarantee I won’t lie to myself (I still actually do it a lot more than I would like, but it’s a constant work in progress and now I am at least aware of it.) I also want to share my past and current errors, what I am learning from them, and the wisdom I am collecting. The wisdom I am collecting not only from my own experiences, but from the amazing people I am fortunate enough to either get to know and speak to, or those whose paths I come across through books and other means of communication. So, won’t you share with me your trials and tribulations? Your wins and accomplishments? What you have learned? Will you share your wisdom with me, with us, and as a collective, for us to grow together? I would love to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your time and energy with me today.