Marriage of Friends
My life is filled with the souls of women I love. The ones who make my belly ache from laughter, who catch my tears. Who show up on my doorstep to celebrate and grieve, who defend me when I’m unkind to myself. These women will love my children, dance as we age, protect my secrets, share in my joy, sing even when we’re sinking in sorrow. They walk close, promising their lives to me—a marriage without a wedding; a commitment without a ring. If you have these women too, remember: the soulmate is a wonderful thought but look how beautiful these love stories are. Look how they make you full.
By Hannah Rosenberg
This is dedicated to all the women in the world whom this poem touches you in some way. When I read this for the first time, I got a little teary eyed and I felt the words. The piece really resonated and connected with something deep inside. I have experienced this beautiful passage in my life, especially in the past 2-3 years, when a lot of the basic foundations and assumptions I had made about my life came into question. My values, the person whom I was married to, the person that I thought I was and who I had become. Or perhaps, the person I always truly was, but only seeing the truth now.
Marriage does not always involve a ring, an official exchange of vows in front of fellow human beings. Marriage comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. This poem reminded me that I have had these incredible committed loving relationships in my life where I know, when I fall, they will be there for me and vise versa. We don’t even question it.
In a different blog, I did comment on how society celebrates most milestones that involve a man: engagement, marriage, baby. But what about the milestones that we achieve without one? This is not a man hating or bashing comment, it’s simply an observation that my friend made that made a lot of sense. Marriage of Friends captures another dimension of the beauty of friendships, a quiet, unsung hero because it happens every day. There is no huge milestone. I don’t text my best friends and say, on this day seven years ago, we met or became friends. Thank you, and I love you. (Note to self, start doing that.) But these are milestones and marriages of a different sort. Let’s celebrate these quiet vows that are carried out every day without fuss or ceremony.
Allow this piece to remind us that we have wonderful souls (it doesn’t have to be just women) in our lives who fulfill “marriage” vows every day, without having done it officially. I am grateful, especially to the women, who have walked my side, defended me when I wasn’t kind to myself, shared in my laughter and tears, picked me up when I fell, and fearlessly loved me when I didn’t love myself enough. Thank you to all these wonderful people in our lives. Happy Friendaversary.