Learning how to meditate 5 minutes at a time
The benefits of meditation for me have been: clarity, awareness of my emotions, a space to pause before reacting to something without thinking, reconnecting to my intuition and trusting myself more; more moments of peace, joy and explosions of love. It sounds too good to be true, but they are what I have and continue to experience since dedicating a daily practice of meditation.
Ninety five percent of my meditation is still consisted of monkey mind and ridiculous thoughts, so by no means am I an expert. But I am now aware of them. I can see them, I can identify them, and being able to do that is already a big first step. Then, being able to relish those rare but increasing moments of awareness to be present, is the next baby step. I am still very new to the path of meditation and spirituality, but I can tell you it has already made a huge different in my life, how I feel and how I conduct myself.
As someone who in the past, could not sit still for more than 5 minutes, being able to meditate for over an hour at a time every day is a feat. We have probably heard this before, meditation is really great for mindfulness, to keep us present and help us experience things on a whole new level. Different people have always suggested I try meditation, but I always resisted. I was always a worrier, I would map out all possible scenarios of something, analyze, over analyze, and then analyze some more. Talk about overkill. I still veer towards that but I am much better, with the help of mediation and reading spiritual books. Today’s post is about how to get started on the mediation path and the benefits it brings. I wont’ be sharing anything new or revolutionary; these are things you can read about in more depth elsewhere. What I will share is my path from 5 minutes to 1.5 hours a day, and the tools I used. Also, a quick mention of Vipassana--a 10 day silent retreat-- where you meditate for 11 hours a day. Yes, 11 hours. No eye contact or speaking with anyone in that period. It’s challenging and requires discipline, but something I recommend you do at least once in your life.
I picked up breathing exercises after my marriage fell apart, and I can’t tell you exactly why. My ex had always been trying to encourage me to do more of it (and I am grateful to him for trying); my first therapist also suggested it. She said it would help bring my anxiety levels down, especially if I did it at 3pm and 6pm for five minutes each day. I stubbornly chose to ignore both of them, saying sitting still for five minutes to breathe just wasn’t me. But hey ho, as I found myself living alone and really enjoying my newfound freedom, I naturally gravitated towards trying pranayama breathing (there was this app that I had used before). I started with five minutes, and with this app, it made it fun and easy to follow. In for 5, hold for 2, out for 6 (for example), each with a different soothing sounds, so you could follow it with your eyes closed. I then heard about Sam Harris’ app Waking Up. It had guided meditation of 10 and 20 mins daily and a 50-day challenge where you continue it for this period to set the habit. Slowly, by combining the three (pranayama, Waking Up and Sadhguru), I started with five minutes, then 15 (5 of breathing and 10 of Sam Harris), to 25 and eventually I got to 50 minutes of guided meditation. I had by this point, signed up to attend a Vipassana 10 day retreat which was to take place in March 2020. Of course, this is when covid exploded and lockdown took place in the UK. Undeterred, I decided to replicate the first three days of what a Vipassana retreat may look like from home, with the help of my friend Isabel, whom first told me about the retreat. So, phone off, iPad only used as a timer. No contact with the outside world bar walking the furry love of my life, Chloe every morning (after all, she should not suffer because her human mommy is crazy enough to try some cockamamy silent retreat thing from home).
Clarity, reconnecting to my instincts and trusting myself more: being an over thinker and analyzer, I often forget what my first instinct was as I have gone in circles in my head. Through meditation, often the right answer comes to me. It becomes clear and I can feel it in my gut. And with each instance that I listen to that moment of clarity, I become more confident in myself and my instinct. (For those who have been involved in relationships where your own voice or opinion slowly gets eroded away, this is empowering and freeing. You reclaim and rediscover your inner voice and strength.)
Awareness of my emotions, and a gap between emotion and reacting unconsciously. Through meditation, if you listen to your body, you can sit with, feel and release a lot of emotions. Especially the negative ones that we tend to either ignore, hold down/deny or try and drown out (through drinking, watching tv, doing things externally to distract and ignore the internally feelings we are uncomfortable facing). I have found that if I acknowledge the negative feeling, whether that is anger, hurt, shame or something else, it is uncomfortable for a period, but then the intensity fades and feeling passes. By repressing or ignoring, it actually is more energy draining as you are constantly trying to not deal with it. I also found that, often, not always, I am able to feel myself get angry or my buttons getting pushed. Rather than react without thinking, I am able to identify that feeling, take a breath and choose to not give in to that impulsive reaction.
More instances of joy, peace and explosion of love. Through meditation (in conjunction with freeing myself from a toxic relationship), I have found that my heart is exploding with love. It sounds corny, but I feel my heart has expanded multiple folds and I have this huge capacity to love and express my love freely. Meditation has allowed me to find true moments of joy. I once described this feeling: I feel like I was seeing the world but it was blurry, I know have glasses on and can see the world clearly. I see the trees, the sky, the flowers in moments of clarity and joy, in a super zoomed in way. I see the details of a petal, or a leaf. This comes from meditation as it teaches and reminds me to be fully present in the now.