The Bravest thing you can ever do is ask for Help

It takes courage to say, I am overwhelmed, but I am not giving up. This is something I do not know how to overcome on my own. I need help.

Asking for help has often been associated with a sign of weakness. The first time I told my mom I was seeing a therapist, her response was: “Can’t you figure it out and sort it out yourself?” It was not meant to be negative, condescending or unsupportive. She has always been the type of person to tough it out, and get things done. That is the perspective many independent, strong willed people have. Yet it takes courage to say, I need help.

As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. No one’s success came from the strength and power of one individual. Anything and all things amazing and awe inspiring have been the result of a collective effort. One person may take the lion share of the credit, represent or be a symbol for that collective effort, but it is never one single thing. One atom cannot make up something amazing, but a combination of many different atoms is what creates water, earth, fire, diamonds, food, air. The things that nourish us. When we feel lost, alone, depressed, angry, out of control, we shut down. We drink, we party, we do things to drown out or supress that inner discomfort. There are times when we don’t know how to handle it. There are times we just need someone to listen to us vent, or to simply be next to us, their presence and silence being enough. But recognizing that and then saying, I feel vulnerable, I need help, is something many feel they cannot do; or uncomfortable doing. Yet, asking for help is the bravest thing one can do for oneself. It’s saying I am not giving up. And I need a hand to help me up. To lift me. It takes strength and courage to show vulnerability. There is no such thing as perfect. We are all hurting, scared, angry, ashamed, on some level and in some form at different points of our lives, and days. It’s the moments when we feel we don’t know how to handle it that we should be seeking love and light from others. They will share with us their strength when we need it, as we will do the same for them when they need it. Life is about love, our collective love for each other. Like in presentations, the advice I always heard was 1. Imagine them all naked (that one has never quite worked for me) and 2. Remember that the audience wants you to succeed. They are all cheering for you to do well, so don’t be afraid. That same principle applies to life, people want you to succeed and be happy because it serves as inspiration and a role model for them. Those that don’t, have their own fears and insecurities. Do not let that stop you. And if you shine, it may give them the bravery to face their own negative thoughts and emotions and come out the other side. So collectively, we raise each other up. But all of that starts with you saying, I need help. I am scared, overwhelmed, angry, suicidal, ashamed. It is not only ok to recognize and name that feeling, but it’s damn brave to see it in the eye, face it and say: I will reach my hand out to another human being and ask them for the strength to face this with me, so I can let it pass through me and move forward, into a more peaceful place. Seek professional help if that is what you need. Or call a friend, an acquaintance; reach out, and often you will be pleasantly surprised at the kindness and generosity of the human spirit.  Today, if I can inspire you to not give up, and ask for help, I have succeeded in my intention to raise you up and love you. I may not have met you, but I know I love you.

 I love you