Journaling, Gratitude and Visioning (different from Visualization)
Three tools that have helped me reflect, capture progress, feel more joy and create habits that allow me to work toward and embody the highest version of myself.
In my blog 6 ways I learned to deal with anxiety after my marriage ended, I forgot to mention a really key component that has helped me heal and reflect in concrete ways. This may not come as a surprise, but journaling everyday, writing a list of things that I am grateful for and visioning have really helped.
I journal every day, right after I meditate because my mind is less clouded by the monkey mind. I started about six months after I left my toxic relationship. With that, I started to write three things I am grateful for. They could be “little” things like my daily walk with the furry love of my life, Chloe. A beautiful cup of coffee. Or, they could be more substantial: things like naming specific people in my life who’ve played a significant role in my journey as I heal. Some days, it’s the roof over my head; the flat where I feel safe, warm and protected. My body; the vessel that is strong, healthy and allows me to live my life, steadfastly carrying me forward in this journey. It could be the flowers I am lucky enough to have by my desk, bringing color, light and life into my heart.
Journaling (and being 100% honest in my thoughts, writing them down, no matter how “dysfunctional” or “shameful”) has been great as a source of reflection and way to see where I have grown and where I still have room to work on. By looking back at my entries, I can sometimes remind myself of the nuggets of wisdom I have in moments of clarity. I see how far I have come (sometimes we are so hard on ourselves we feel like we are not making any progress, but in reading my journal entries, I can see concretely the movement I have made). Journaling is a great way to reflect, and almost a way to have a mini report on the progress and areas of work on a regular basis. I have one blank page where I write down the same questions and at the end of each month, I go back and answer it. In addition, at the start of each month, I write down a few quotes that inspire me, and I go back to it every once in a while, to read the quotes of the month. They keep me focused on a few key thoughts for that month. Examples of the questions I have listed: What did I learn this month? What did I accomplish? What surprised me? Who played a big role? What was my best moment? What was my worst? What goals do I want to achieve this month?
I couple this with a monthly habit calendar/tracker (Atomic Habits by James Clear) that keeps me motivated to do daily things that help me continue to evolve and embody the things I value (example daily exercise, self improvement podcast/reading, eating healthy, staying in touch with loved ones, etc). The little nerd in me likes to color in/check that box each day; it feels like an accomplishment, a little endorphin hit while reinforming my identity as a healthy, disciplined, balanced person. (James Clear talks about different ways to make habits stick, and your identity of who you are is a strong one.)
I use the bullet journal method, it’s great because it allows you to personalize it to what works for you. The format I started off with looks very different to the format I have now, but it has evolved and really works for what I need and what I respond well to.
Visioning. Many have watched or read The Secret (I admit I haven’t, but heard a lot about it), and it talks about Visualization. However, I am going to differentiate that from Visioning. Visualization is picturing things based on your mind, and they can end up being limited by our conscious or unconscious limiting beliefs. Visioning comes from a feeling, sometimes a clarity you get from mediation or a moment of inspiration. It’s a life you want to fulfill may be beyond what you can actually picture in your head. Sometimes, we may say things like “I have the fit healthy and toned body on an athlete” in your visualization mantra/exercise, but in the back of your head you are saying “That’s not true! You had pizza last night and you have a gut!” Vishen of Mindvalley suggests we use Why questions so we don’t subconsciously sabotage the visioning of who we are/want to become. He and describe the difference between Visioning and Visualization here. So instead of saying “I have the fit healthy and toned body of an anthlete” I ask myself every morning “Why do I have the fit healthy body of an athlete?” That allows me to aspire to it/keep it while knowing that sometimes I fall off the wagon or that when I am not toned, it’s not because I am a liar (I won’t experience cognitive dissonance).
Summary:
Journaling (and being 100% honest in those entries—they are for your eyes only) allows you to reflect, have a regular report on your progress.
Gratitude (listing the big and small things you are grateful for) really allows you to feel joy and love in your body and trust me, you will start seeing a difference in your outlook. Even if you are already a naturally optimist person.
Visioning allows you to work toward creating habits to embody the person you want to become. With the thoughts you have each day, your actions will subconsciously lead in that direction.