Home is where the heart is

I took a two plus month hiatus from writing to visit family in Canada and the States. As corny as it sounds, it was nourishing for the heart and soul. I had not seen my sister for over four years and my parents in two. A planned trip two years ago did not happen because of Covid, so I met my nephew for the first time this trip. I am in love with this little human being. Spirited, sweet, bossy and authentic, I couldn’t help but be in awe of this little creation from my sister and her husband’s love.  

It also made me realize how much I needed to be with my family. It gave me this deep sense of love, fulfilment and peace that I didn’t know was missing. And perhaps missing is not the right word, as I did not feel empty or less than before I saw them. But the time spent with them was soul filling in a way I didn’t expect. It reminded me of the phrase: Home is where the heart is. I felt this when I was with my ex and Chloe. Because we were one family unit, whether we were living in Geneva or London, where we were, is where it felt like home. Geneva more than London for me, but it was the people that made it special. My ex made it very clear that he did not like the States as a place to live, so somewhere in the back of my head, I buried this wish to live close to my sister and have our children grow up together. That is still something I long for, in a cautiously optimist way. Something that would be amazing if it happened, but not something I am craving or hanging on to. Being home in North America this trip, I could actually envision myself living in Vancouver or Dallas. It really surprised me. I always knew it is an option, as my family is there. But this trip took my heart there and I felt it. It doesn’t mean I will necessarily move back, or that I will make decisions in haste. But it opened up my eyes to the fact that now, my heart is open so my home can be anywhere again. It is usually a loved one, whether blood family, partner or someone important in our lives, that take us to a specific place. Sometimes it’s a job or career, and hopefully that is also a love, a passion for your vocation that takes us to that place.

So, no major lesson in this blog post, except a reminder to myself that home is where the heart is. It is where the people that you love are. I shared so many small moments that are so precious. The first time my nephew let me put him to sleep (a big deal when he is used to mom and dad every night). That was the highlight of that day and one of the top ones of my two-month trip home. Walking with my parents in the sunshine, whether that was in Vancouver or Dallas. Hanging out with my sister in between her meetings and simply being able to be next to her; to tell her that I love her. Teasing my brother-in-law about peanut butter. Doing what I love on my own and through that meeting wonderful people in the climbing community. Learning how to lead climb and falling in love with another area of climbing. Building a vibrant life full of things that are nourishing, challenging and invigorating, no matter where in the world one is.