11 surprising things 40 days of yoga taught me
In April of 2020, almost exactly a year ago, my friend Isabel invited me to do a 40-day yoga programme with her, by yoga practitioner Baron Baptiste. It allowed me to gain a lot of different insights each week. To my delight, when I look back now, a lot of those insights have become part of my subconscious thinking and I implement them almost daily. Others, I have forgotten and need reminding of, still finding myself hitting brick walls and “suffering” through self-inflicted thought patterns. But, that is part of learning!
On the last day of the 40-day challenge, I reflected on some of the key learnings I took away from that process. Here are some that you may find resonate with you:
If you want someone to listen to you, listen to them. Be present.
Let the process unfold. Even when you don’t know the answer; the answer eludes you… you are not sure what you learned or what to do—the answer will come. Keep looking, digging, share with people and when you least expect it, it will come. Don’t get frustrated, don’t grasp too hard. Let go of perfection, of the right answer, but don’t give up. Keep going, keep inquiring. If you do what feels right, intuitive and stick with it, the answer will unfold when the time is right. We don’t need to focus on the end result or destination. Just have the direction and head towards it. Enjoy the journey.
Worth repeating. Just stick with it. Baby steps; do it even if you’re feeling “lazy” like daily yoga practice or meditating. If you do the baby steps, eventually the habit will form.
Take labels away. This applies to people, places and outcomes. When we walk into a room, we already have pre-conceived ideas of who and what a person should be, based on their identity in relation to us. We label them, and see them accordingly. I see mom as Mom. Dad as Dad. But these labels can block us from seeing them for the complex humans they truly are. In order to truly connect, and have real, fulfilling and deep conversations, we need to drop the labels and expectations we have around people, and see them first as their own person. Especially when it comes to those we love. We hold so many ingrained labels that we are so often not aware of, which can block our ability to connect on a deeper level without us even knowing.
We don’t know what we’re made of until we are truly squeezed. This reminds me of a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: A woman is like a teabag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
How we are on the yoga mat is very similar to how we deal with discomfort and challenges in our lives. Many of us will give up when a pose gets hard. Or others will power through even when we shouldn’t, causing ourselves injury. If we can pay attention to how we deal with challenges on the yoga mat, we can bring that insight to how we deal with them off it and use it as tool for self-reflection.
We use exercise, alcohol, eating and other external distractions as a way to deal with a problem or mask discomfort. But we are not really dealing with anything. Rather than using distraction tactics and vices to make ourselves feel better in the moment, we actually need to sit with it, let it be and accept it. It’s actually less painful than the fear.
Don’t rush things. In yoga, when I am not rushing through the poses, I am less likely to injure myself and my body. I gain ease and eventually get there. Doing a sequence in a much more mindful, present way, where I am aware of every small movement, helps me really enjoy the process and remain present, rather than rushing to the end result. Often we are so focused on the end goal that we forget to enjoy, or even notice, the journey.
Meet people where they are, rather than try to make them meet where you think they should be. Stop trying to change people and accept them as they are. We can’t change someone’s behaviour but we can change our reaction to it.
Imperfection allows for creativity and intuition. If you try to be perfect, you block yourself from true inspiration and creativity. Whether that’s writing, creating something or even showing up in our jobs or relationships. Placing an expectation on ourselves to produce something perfect every time makes us overthink things, stopping our intuition from kicking in and guiding us. Often, it stops us from even trying in the first place.
The hardest subconscious habit I’ve found to break is the need for certainty and security. I often want to rush through life knowing the end result, forgetting that a lot of beautiful things, opportunities and experiences lie in the uncertain moments. The beauty of life lies in the not knowing. Even when that’s scary. I’m constantly reminding myself to sit with that uncertainty, accept it, and let it unfold without the need to rush or control the outcome.